The Monona Rag

Dealing the Dish on Monona, Wisconsin

Girls Scouts celebrate 100 years with pagan ceremonies, porn and lesbian kits

The Girls Scouts of American are 100 years old. To honor the occasion, the iconic organization has launched a series of celebratory events. Each event will include the following:

  • Pagan rituals (Satan is welcome!)
  • Cookies
  • Free condoms
  • “How to be a lesbian” kits
  • Porn
  • Discounted abortions
  • Armpit hair braiding sessions
  • More cookies

At the same time the American Heritage Girls will counter the Girl Scout celebrations with an exciting agenda of sexual repression and a Donna Reed Show marathon.

10 ResponsesLeave one →

  1. Robbie

     /  March 19, 2012

    Have you lost your mind?

  2. Ted

     /  March 19, 2012

    I think we can safely say this is mocking people who have accused the Girl Scouts of promoting lesbianism and paganism.

    I believe a US congressman from Indiana made the accusations last year.

  3. Anonymous

     /  March 19, 2012

    Some people believe the girl scouts are being hi jacked by liberals.

    Heaven forbid we teach our girls to be confident and secure and safe.

  4. annie

     /  March 19, 2012

    awesome!

    sign me up for those scouts.

  5. cookie monster

     /  March 20, 2012

    I want some thin mints!

  6. Kaitlin the Wolf Witch

     /  April 1, 2012

    There is no “Satan” in paganism; Satan lives only in the sick, twisted minds and hateful hearts of those who believe in it.

  7. Faiz

     /  May 18, 2012

    If the city and district were intsreeted in developing Maywood that would be part of the discussion and I think we can all assume given their silence on that topic is not an option (which would make sense given the financial). I doubt the parties you are talking about have spent little or no time talking about that option. You are correct I am not their when Kahl, Fox and Gerhlach smoke cigars and work all of this out. I say this in jest, but this letter smack of this kind of activity. If Nicholas was such a valuable property why hasn’t someone popped up to buy it? I find it laughable that the Mayor is arguing if it suddenly empty a buyer will magically appear. I am guessing that their are problems-the historical status and whole host of others problems. I repeat look at Maywood it is NOT a very good school from a physical bones perspective.

  8. Pagan

     /  June 13, 2012

    Your a Fucking idiot

    We Pagans do not believe in Satan/ Lucifer not do we believe in the Christian God

    Satan/Lucifer is a Judo christian Concept he is only in the Abraham Religions Judaism Christianity and Islam
    if you knew anything about Religion you would know this

    Pagan deities ARE more loving than the christian god BECAUSE there are less rules… the most important, underlying law of paganism is “Harm none”. And it’s understood that whatever you do, for good or for ill, will come back upon you threefold, so if you are rewarded or punished, you have only yourself to credit or blame.
    The christian god, on the other hand, has a laundry list of things you are or aren’t suppsed to think/say/feel/eat/do, and if you screw up on any of them, he will send you to suffer and scream in torment, unceasingly, until the very end of time. He loves you, though.
    Which one sounds more loving to you?

    When one defines oneself as Pagan, it means she or he follows an earth or nature religion, one that sees the divine manifest in all creation. The cycles of nature are our holy days, the earth is our temple, its plants and creatures our partners and teachers. We worship a deity that is both male and female, a mother Goddess and father God, who together created all that is, was, or will be. We respect life, cherish the free will of sentient beings, and accept the sacredness of all creation

  9. Joel

     /  June 22, 2012

    Pagan, you’re the fucking idiot. It’s a joke. It’s making fun of the right wing, christian whackos who accuse the girl scouts of leading girls into things like lesbianism and paganism.

    Figure it out and take the stick out of your ass.

  10. anonymous

     /  December 11, 2013

    joel i think u have quite a few sticks up your ass

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