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What the hell are parents thinking?

Parents. I think it’s true that once you become a parent, you become brain dead. I mean, how else do you explain the things they do and say. I whine about my parents. But I have to admit, they are not always that bad. Not when I consider some of the mentally-stunted losers I’ve met […]

Monona Blogs on Life Support

Last month, Monona Alderman Doug Wood made official what we all knew – he was done posting on his blog – http://mononadoug.blogspot.com/ No matter what you think of Wood, he was a prolific writer. By his count, he wrote over 1,500 in about five years. It was not all political content, but instead a mixture […]

Nichols School to become state prison

The school district announced plans to sell Nichols School to the state so they can turn it into a prison. The move coincides with the announcement that the state of Wisconsin now spends more money on the prison system than on the state’s public universities. “It’s a good business decision,” said one local politician. “Locals […]

Harleys for police force spur alternative considerations

Lost in all the hoopla of our 4th of July celebration is news that the Monona Police department is proposing to buy Harley-Davidson motorcycles for the force. While Harleys would be cool, I think it is important for the city to investigate alternate means of transportation for our police force. Here are some options: Segways […]

State politicians cite small penises, revenge and inability to think for themselves as primary motivators

“My penis is so freaking small, I need to compensate by being a bully.” Those are the words from one state senator when asked what was the most important factor in the decisions he made while in office. The Dewan-Patrinsky Group of Milwaukee conducted the survey in May, speaking with over 400 Wisconsin politicians. Respondents […]

Increase in marijuana farms in city linked to new Monona cable show ‘Backyard Gold’

An increase in the number of petite Marijuana farms detected by the Monona police has been attributed to a scandalous new daytime show on Monona cable titled ‘Backyard Gold’. The show is aimed at the underemployed and hopes to raise money for them with a visit to their backyards and then encouraging them to grow […]

Monona Farmers Market opens this weekend

The Monona Farmers Market opens at Ahuska Park this Sunday, May 6. From 9 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. you can can all sorts of local produce, crafts, baked goods, jams, jellies, meats and more. And, unlike the more famous farmers market on the square, parking is free and the walk is about 30 seconds to […]

Monona: Fact or Fiction

On warm summer nights, my spouse and I like to make a fire in the backyard and swap stories about Monona with friends. Some of the more outrageous items have endured, so here’s the truth about a gaggle of Monona ‘facts’. Question: Is Kathy Thomas really an undead creature seeing as she’s been on the […]

Homeless man wearing hoodie alarms several on Monona Drive

Police were called to local restaurant after several people expressed concerned over a bearded man wandering around the back of neighboring buildings. “He was pretty creepy looking,” said one man, who was enjoying a burrito at La Bamba on Saturday night, when his wife pointed out the man, who was ‘lurking’ about and ‘acting strangely’. […]

Girls Scouts celebrate 100 years with pagan ceremonies, porn and lesbian kits

The Girls Scouts of American are 100 years old. To honor the occasion, the iconic organization has launched a series of celebratory events. Each event will include the following: Pagan rituals (Satan is welcome!) Cookies Free condoms “How to be a lesbian” kits Porn Discounted abortions Armpit hair braiding sessions More cookies At the same […]