On warm summer nights, my spouse and I like to make a fire in the backyard and swap stories about Monona with friends. Some of the more outrageous items have endured, so here’s the truth about a gaggle of Monona ‘facts’.
Question: Is Kathy Thomas really an undead creature seeing as she’s been on the Monona City Council for over 90 years?
The Skinny: Fiction. Kathy Thomas is really a name handed down from person to person over the last century, sort of like the Dread Pirate Roberts in Princess Bride. The current incarnation of ‘Kathy Thomas’ has been around only about 40 years.
Question: Is Maywood School is haunted?
The Skinny: Fiction. The creepy weeping sound occasionally heard at the abandoned school is from Monona parents who stop by and lament the passing of the cutest damned school this side of the Mississippi. Go turtles!
Question: Does Monona have the biggest Memorial Day parade in the state?
The Skinny: Fact. The Memorial Day parade rocks. Go to it!
Question: Is Mayor Bob Miller a ninja?
The Skinny: Fiction. Mayor Miller is not a ninja. He is simply a contract killer for the CIA in his off hours. To call him a ninja would insult real ninjas, like Jeff Wiswell.
Question: Is former Mayor Robb Kahl a republican?
The Skinny: Fiction. Former mayor Kahl is running for the Wisconsin Assembly as a Democrat.
Question: Is Monona is famous for its friendly horses?
The Skinny: Fact. Friendly horses tend to visit Monona to meet Super Friendly Horse (who received votes in this month’s city council race!). Monona is then frequently full of friendly horses, not to mention the original Super Friendly one.
Question: Is is true the air quality at the Silver Eagle was once rated worse than Gary, Indiana?
The Skinny: Fact. Prior to the smoking ban, the amount of smoke in the air was equivalent or worse than 60s era Gary, Indiana.
Question: Is Chad Speight’s hair is a wig?
The Skinny: Fiction. Alderman Chad has a load of hair that many men can only dream of.