In a unanimous vote, the Monona city council, lead by Mayor Robb Kahl, has stripped collective bargaining rights from area Mexican restaurants.

It’s a crisis situation,” said Kahl.

“We need to maintain the low costs that come with the tasty goodness that is Mexican food,” said Alderman Mike Veserat.

The move comes in the wake of fears that collective bargaining amongst employees at Taco John’s, Taco Bell and La Bamba would raise salaries to a point where the price of burritos and churros would skyrocket.

“Potato Oles should be affordable to all Monona residents,” said Doug Wood, referring to the tasty potato treat offered by Taco John’s.

“Reasonably priced burritos as big as your head,” added alderman Wiswell, “are guaranteed somewhere in the state constitution.”

When asked why only Mexican restaurants were being targeted with the ban, alderman Scott Munson said, “It has nothing to do with boxes of Teriyaki Wings from Buffalo Wild Wings that were sent to our last meeting.”

Local activists were dismayed at the news, saying it was a right of workers to collectively bargain for really crappy wages. Or get fired trying.

When contacted, workers at the affected restaurants laughed hysterically and looked at us like we were crazy. One kid took pity on us and gave us some old tacos, saying, “The horse looks hungry.”